Give up

I keep trying to keep living normally. I know I can't escape. But there's always the lingering knowledge at the back of my mind that it would be so much easier to give up.

Routine

I have to try to forget about all of this. It's hard, but every time I move somewhere else, the shape and the stranger are there, and nothing I can do will stop them. So as terrified as I still am, I just have to live with it. Make the fear routine.

I really hope I can.

Losing coherence

I know I'm starting to lose coherence lately.

Well, I haven't been entirely honest with you. See, when I said the stranger's face was blurred by the flash, I knew what really happened. The camera revealed the truth.

And I've been losing sleep. I mean, how am I supposed to sleep when no matter where I go there's a stranger staring at me, no matter what time I go to bed I hear something whispering to me and dragging something metallic across the ground as its dark shape moves away?

I'm not imagining things.

Or at least, I wasn't.

faces/claws

your face is not your face

your name is not your name

where should lie empty space

to fill it is a shame

the claws are sharp

the night is dark

there is nothing to fear

but what you strain to hear

Still here

He's still here.

I moved back to my parents' home and standing outside the window, one I used to imagine monsters peering into when I was little, is the stranger. He keeps watching me, but nobody else even knows he's there.

Why is this happening to me?

Why is this happening at all?

Bad dreams

Sorry about that. I woke up in the middle of the night after a bad dream, and for some reason my first instinct was to go write an update on my blog.

It was a really bad dream, by the way.

I dreamed that the stranger and the dark shape were both watching me, and both of them were advancing towards me slowly. The closer they got, the more clearly I could see how monstrous and inhuman they were. They tore me limb from limb.

I'm moving back home. I can't take being in this dorm anymore. It's too much. I can't deal with this stalker.

I won't tell Mom and Dad why I'm coming back. I don't want to explain all of this to them. I'll just say I miss them.

Night whispers

I keep having these dreams make it stop make it stop make it stop